Well, another landmark medical study offers us a breakthrough: being unhealthy can make you die. I don't know how much this study cost. I wonder if it was as expensive as the one that told us that college students are prone to binge drinking? Or that migraines in women are linked to their menstrual cycles?
Seriously, who approved the grants that supported some pathetic graduate students diligently tabulating the data on how many packages of Doritos were consumed, how many episodes of Cops! were watched? Did they do cross-tabs on the relative merits of sitcoms versus Lucky Strikes or Marlboro Lights? (Are they still allowed to call them "lights?" I think I read that they can't do that anymore, because then people might think that cigarettes are good for them.)
Puts in mind of a line from a Pink guilty fav: "just keep your drink and give me the money."
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